Whitey Has Leftovers

White people have been workin’ overtime y’all. I know I said I would only hate on them for a day or so, but the amount of pictures I found of them looking fucked-ed-ed in the past few days alone is astonding. I just couldn’t resist… 

At first, I didn’t even know how to explain this one, but then it dawned on me that this is the first picture in a long time we’ve seen where Britney looks both a complete mess AND totally sober, all at the same time. Notice there is no vacant stare, her wigs not falling off, her flabby cooch ain’t fluttering in the wind. No, Britney is sober. So sober in fact that it is to my belief that she didn’t even want to walk out of the house looking like that in the first place. In fact, I think Britney might be completely done with being outfit in crazy 24/7 and it was her friend who dressed her like this, against her will. I can see it now.

They were probably at crib and she was talkin’ some mess to Britney like “Girl, of course its cool to dress like you just got your fitness on at Pee-Wee’s playhouse! Yea, just throw that dirty towel around your neck and call it a day. That’s hot.” And poor Britney was probably all confused like ”Um… are you sure? I feel like I look too retarded to be photographed today. I don’t know if I should go out in public.” Then her friend dragged her out of the house. See how her friend is leading her down the street and Britney’s looking a little dumbfounded? Well, all I gotta say is yes Britney, follow your instincts.

In fact, I think I’m going to have to applaud her on this one because it seems that she may have finally got some sense. I’d hate to think I’m making all this up, but who would willing dress like this anyway?

 

Oh….Right.

Well, I guess we’ll see you on www.lastnightsparty.com then  girl. 

Speaking of lastnightsparty.com, I think Amy Winehouse is just a Sparks away from runnin’ it. Ol’ girl not only rocks the I-live-my-life-in-a-Madonna-video look flawlessly but she also perpetually looks like she just finished passing around a bottle Smirnoff with 5 other people on some dance floor for 2 hours and that’s why she can no longer function as a member of society. What can be more hipster than that? Seems like that beehive even earned her a nod at playing the new Bond girl opposite Daniel Craig. I’m not even foolin’.

Gross.

For real, what about this says bond girl to you? She looks like a fuckin’ vagabond. I mean, didn’t she steal that food she has in her hand? Shit, somebody give this girl a home and scrub her down with some Ajax before she has to put on some string bikini and strut around on the silver screen for the rest of us to see. Quick.

AHHHHHH! And maybe you should help get this girl off the meth while you’re at it. Anyway, while we’re on the topic of over-hyped British chicks let’s transition right over to Lily Allen.

 

Can someone please tell me who this child thinks she is? This simple bitch has one song on the Billboard charts and to her that means she can run around America punching paparazzi and crying on the MySpace talkin’ about how fat she feels compared to other celebrities like anyone gives a damn about whatever love handles she has pretends to have today. Somebody give me a belt so I can put this little brat in her place. I suggest you shut the fuck up you little spaz before America revokes the remaining 14 minutes of your so-called fame.

Ugh.

And not last but not least, how about some more hipster picks to really hit home how crazy crackers can be.

 

Um, excuse me while I holla at the chick on the right and remind her that she is not on Mousercise.

 

Watch as the NYU kids blow through their entire trustfunds in a single night at Studio B.

 

So this is what a proper Bedford Ave crackhead look like…

Um. Maybe y’all should be explaining this one ’cause I’m at a loss for words. I guess all that’s left to say is white ain’t always right y’all…white ain’t always right.

Hope you enjoyed.

xoxo,

Lady Half-Breed