Let Me ‘Splain

 

Some of y’all may be wondering where the hell Lady Half-Breed’s from? How I’m livin’? What I do for a living? etc. Well, allow me to keep it really real…

Lady Half-Breed is broke.

Actually, let me rephrase that. Lady Half-Breed is ”let me get 10 cent on pump one, who wants to buy this black and white t.v. so I can pay my light bill, I ate a ketchup packet for dinner and it was so delicious” kind of broke. That’s how I’m livin’, with a pocket full of pennies and my priorities all out of wack.

I am one outfit away from livin’ in a cardboard box on a corner near a crackhouse, but ask me if I care. I may be broke but I always stay fresh to def because, yes, I am that negro. The one you see at the club rockin’ Gucci from head to toe, talkin’ to the bartender ’bout “can I get a club soda” so I can take that bitch to the bathroom and empty some vodka in it ’cause why would I spend $10 a drink when I can make a pint last all night? But don’t get it twisted. I wasn’t always this way y’all.

 

It was only a few years ago that I was a straight A student attending a prestigeous mid-western University working towards the degree that I was sure would be my key to the world. Then shortly after graduation I found myself livin’ in the Bed Stuy, drinkin’ 22’s of Balintine at 3am tryin’ to make $20 last for two weeks because entry-level jobs pay shit and I just spent my entire paycheck on Sparks last weekend. Mind you this is only a slight step up from the previous year when I was running around the East Village with any immigrant within a 5 block radius because English would only complicate the relationship.

Child….it was a mess. I had seen and done it all so it wasn’t before long that I realized it was time to get my life together. After years of living like a rodent with an alcohol problem I moved from one ghetto to the next and set up shop in Detroit, wielding a LSAT study guide and the little determination I had left,  hoping that 5 years from now I could take my hate to a courtroom and actually get paid for being an asshole. It’s been three weeks.

So, who knows what the future holds for Lady Half-Breed. Maybe I’ll cut a record deal with Def Jam next year. Who know? But there is one thing I know for sure- you ain’t seen the last of me yet. By the way, Brooklyn, I’ll see you in a month.

xoxo,

Lady Half-Breed